Cloth Diapers

So when the baby is born I will be using cloth diapers! Woo hoo! I am very excited! This blog that I follow is giving away diapers and diaper accessories for the next 12 days so I am posting about for an entry into the drawing. A perfect time to share lol! I hope i win one!

Here is the link...
http://allaboutclothdiapers.com/my-favorite-things-event/

20 weeks and Kicking!

So I am officially halfway through my pregnancy! Woohoo!!!

A couple of weeks ago I felt the baby move for the first time. I wasn't sure the first couple of times because they were so light! But after a week I knew. My description of what they feel like is tiny little taps from the inside. At least that's how they felt at first. Now the little one's movement's are much stronger and more frequent. I don't really know how to describe them now other than really stinking amazing! Feeling the baby move inside of me is my favorite experience thus far in pregnancy! Because it makes it all so real now! Haha the baby is twirling around as I type this. Its like its saying, "Hey mom, just so you know...here I am, growing in your belly!" I love it. I really want Chris to be able to feel it but the right moment hasn't happened yet. And as of Friday I realized you can see it move if you look at my belly when in kicks! So cool, I wasn't expecting that for a couple more months! I have tried recording it but my camera doesn't capture as good of video as it does pictures and you can't quite see the movements. Oh well, it will happen.

My bump has finally popped out. I mean I am not huge yet by any means, in fact I am still in that stage where people think I am pregnant but I am not big enough for anyone to say anything just in case! But its growing every day! Oh and my belly button won't be around for much longer, which is also really cool to me!

I can't believe that I am halfway through! On one hand it makes me really excited because I have waited so long for this milestone and if I can make it to 20 I can make it to 40. But now that I am here 20 more weeks seems like such a long tome to be able to see my baby! But the good thing is that from now on the baby and my belly will only get bigger. There isn't much to show during the first 20 weeks, even though you don't feel very great! But now the baby will just get bigger and stronger and will keep on growing until I get to hold him or her in my arms!!! EEEKKK!!! I am so excited!

Btw, the baby is the size of a banana now! Woohoo go baby! So that's all for now!

My Husband is Amazing!

The other day we went to Walmart and before we went in we were finishing our conversation in the car. When we were just about to get out I all of a sudden had a crazy DEEP desire for a flower...just one. I wanted it so bad I started crying, in just one second! It was ridiculous. IT was like I was craving food, but instead a flower. I felt ridiculous! But my amazing husband looks over at me and says very sweetly, "well let's get a flower!" So we went shopping and at the end of our trip and went to the bouquets and I got to pick out a beautiful bouquet of flowers. All I wanted was one. I was so stinking excited, I felt like a little kid with candy! It's official, I am a crazy pregnant woman! But I have such an amazing husband! He has been so caring and understanding during my pregnancy, which I know must be just as hard on him as it is on me! Especially since right before we got married I was super energetic, loved cooking, and was so excited to love and serve him. And now my desires to love and serve are there but my body slows me WAY down. And so it ends up that Chris has to help me A LOT! But he has never once complained and he is so caring! I am hoping my energy will return and sickness subside in the next couple of weeks so at least I can stay up later than 7:30! Anyways, just wanted to say that my husband is GREAT! And I love him so much!

Can I just say...

That I LOVE being pregnant! I am barely showing but I just love that there is a person growing inside of me! I am so excited fro the day when I get to hold him or her in my arms and kiss them! I love that God has given this amazing ability to GROW a whole PERSON inside of me! It's so cool! The sickness hasn't been pleasant and I know that both me AND my husband are ready for my energy to return but even with those symptoms I am still so in love with this feeling! And there is still so much more to come! Like when I get to feel the baby move for the first time. So amazing! I love the baby so much!!! By the way in case you were wondering, apparently the baby is the size of a lime! How neat!

I am one happy pregnant woman right now!


...now if I could only get my insurance to cover a home birth...

Heartbeat!

On Wednesday I had my midwife appointment and we got to hear our baby's heart beat! It was so amazing! I definitely feel pregnant but hearing it's heart beating was so special. It made it so real that we are having a BABY!!! There is a child growing inside of me right now. So stinking cool! Also I am now 10 weeks so I am a quarter through my pregnancy! Woo Hoo! And I am almost done with the first trimester so hopefully the nausea and exhaustion will subside soon. That's what's new!

The Philippines

So if anyone has read the beginnings of my blog you know about the midwife school in the Philippines and how I had wanted to go this year.

A recap...

In January, on my way home from Texas the Lord gently asked if I could lay it down. I joyfully said yes knowing that the Lord gives and takes away and He is always good. I wasn't sure if it would be for real that He wanted me to give it up or not but as time went on it became apparent that I wouldn't be going this year.

Shortly after, Chris and I began courting! Things started to make sense especially once we started moving towards marriage.

I have said this to many before but I'm not sure if I've said it here but there are two things that the Lord has given me passion for. Midwifery and Wife/Mothering. I loved and wanted both but more than anything I wanted and still want the Lord. I could live joyfully for Him without ever fulfilling either, both, or just one. While I was single I couldn't pursue marriage or motherhood because then they wouldn't have come about the right way. But one thing I could pursue was being a midwife, and I did.

While doing so, a dear friend of mine was asking about the school in the Philippines that I was saving for. Turns out the Lord totally called her there! She applied the same time as me and she got accepted and is now leaving this Sunday!!!!!!! So stinking exciting! She is going to do so well there!

Now I am married and preparing for birth and motherhood, while my friend is preparing for a long journey to becoming a midwife! It's sop beautiful how the Lord works!

Someday I would like to still pursue becoming a midwife, however being a wife and mother trumps any other passions the Lord gives me. They are the most important jobs he has given me. So maybe years down the road when my children are grown I might stir up the ole midwifery subject again. But for now, the Lord has given me a sweet, strong, manly man to care for, and soon a precious baby to raise. I am so blessed!!!

Wow...

So, I have been thinking about whether or not to keep up this blog anymore. I am still not 100% decided but for the time being I guess I will continue to write unless I forget about it and just dont!

So to catch up with my life, I am now married and pregnant!

Chris proposed to me in April at the Biblical Gardens which is one of my favorite places in the whole world! We knew we wanted a simple wedding so we decided that June 11 would be our date. That gave us about 6 weeks to plan and pull together. Most people around us thought we were crazy...especially since we weren't pregnant! But we both knew how much money we wanted to spend and we didn't want to spend more than that. WE already knew we were getting married and we had the money. The Lord was blessing it so we proceeded. And on June 11, 2011 I married the most amazing man I have ever met! IT was a BEAUTIFUL day and wedding! It was at his Uncle's house in Foresthill outside on the front lawn. We had about 250 guests share it with us, family, friends, and lots of community friends! It was really awesome to have some of my out-of-state family come. My dad and Tammy and all the kids made it! And my best friend from high school, Chelsea, came as well! It really was amazing!

Then two days later we set off for San Diego! We went to Six Flags, Sea World, snorkeling in the ocean, then a extra trip to go to Midevil Times!

On June 14th we got pregnant! I know that might sound weird that I know the exact date but I had been charting my fertility the couple of months before our wedding so that we could know when I was ovulating. Turns out our honeymoon ended up being the week I was ovulating and it being our first week as a married couple we didn't want to use any barriers. So we knew there was a possibility of conceiving...turns out it happened!

Two weeks later I took a prego test and it was positive!!! So now I am 7 weeks past conception and 9 weeks according to how the medical world counts pregnancy. They say pregnancy begins at the first day of your menstrual cycle...(weird huh!) For the sake of making things the same across the board whenever I say how far a long I am I will use the medical term so that no one will be confused!

So now my baby is the size of a grape and is causing all kinds of havoc on my body!
But time is short to go into those details for this post.


Maybe I'll be back later to record some more!

So much to say...

I haven't posted in soooo long! Partly because not many are reading, but mostly because I don't know what to say! There is so much that has been going on in my life and soon I will be able to share more about it. But basically I have been loving the Lord and getting to know Chris! There have been so many amazing things that have happened with him but writing them on here feels like it would take away the excitement of it. So many private moments and words shared between us that would take away from the relationship that was building during those time if I shared them with the world. So...I really don't have much to say. Not sure if I will keep writing on here. I honestly don't really see the point for the time being since I am not going to the Philippines. It might make more since if I go to Egypt later this year...but we shall see!

Just a thought...

I was thinking about the quote a lot of people use these days that I myself have said many times in the past. "If something is boring it probably isn't of God". I robotic-ally used to say all the time, especially to non-believers who would say Christianity is boring. But this quote isn't true! There are a lot of things that God is very much involved in that isn't entertaining and what I would say is boring. Like the Israelites who wandered around in a desert doing nothing for years...that sounds horrifically BORING!! But that was ALL God. It was their grumbling that made them have to wait so long but if at any point they had stopped and said, "WAit a minute...this is boring and God isn't involved in boring therefore this must be Satan tricking us so we should go somewhere else and stop all this waiting!" then God would have never been able to send them to their promised land! And what about work...I am sorry but almost all of my jobs have been incredibly boring!!! So should I have quit because God must not have been involved? I realize that the context this phrase is usually pointing to is about sermons, teachings, or prayer but that doesn't work either. God doesn't exist to entertain us. I have heard some sermons that are very boring but they were so good! So full of truth and wisdom. And prayer, to be honest is usually super boring to me! I am constantly disciplining my mind to focus and not fall asleep especially in group prayer. I am not one who gets excited to pray but it is always so so so good! There are plenty of things that we do that aren't thrilling but are so good and give glory to God! Being bored is a discomfort and Jesus didn't die to make us comfortable! And this isn't to say that God is boring! HA! Oh goodness...he is so not boring! We will spend eternity getting to know all the facets of him! Anything that is entertaining on this earth only is because God created it to be exciting!

So yeah...its just a thought!

The big news!

So the big news that I have dying to tell everyone is that I am in a courtship! January 17th, Chris Arbaugh asked me to court him. He is one of the most amazing godly men I have ever met! I am very excited and beyond blessed by this relationship. The craziest thing is realizes how much God loves me! After laying down the "rights" to a future marriage soooooo many times, it is so beautiful to see the fruit of it all. So that's the mini story! I don't really want to blog about it too much because I would rather live it.


In other news I am thinking about taking the classes and steps to become a doula. I am still praying about it but the class is in March...so we shall see!

Transparency

Okay, so I am in a huge mountain top experience right now. Remember the changes I was telling you about that I can't tell you about yet, well they are amazing and I am so incredibly blessed! Jesus is ravishing my heart even more and it is so beautiful! But I need to expose Satan's lies that are being feed to me a lot lately. He keeps telling my that I am not worthy, and that it is all going to end. He is trying to provoke fear in me, to make me hold onto this high and do all I can to not lose it. The truth is... I am not worthy! And one day it will all end whether it be sooner and many years down the road. But that's okay because my hope, my life, my love is not found in this experience. It is only found in Jesus. And when it is all taken from me it won't matter because Jesus will be there! Satan is trying to get me to make this an idol, but I can't because that would mean forsaking my savior! So I will continue to expose satan's lies and believe in God's truth! I surrender my life and all of the blessings GLADLY for my King!

Jesus is AMAZING!!!

In case you haven't figured it out yet...I am in love...with Jesus!!! I just am in so much shock at how much he loves and blesses me! I deserve Hell...that's it! That is all that I should receive my entire life. That is what I am entitled to is eternal torment and pain... but instead Jesus gave me life! Eternal life with Jesus forever and ever! And I so don't deserve it. Wow, AND he not only gave me that but he blesses me in my life so incredibly much! I mean it would take years to say all the things he has given me that I don't deserve because EVERYTHING I have been given I don't deserve! I love him! And not because I can..in fact I can't love him not on my own. I didn't love him I killed him. It was my sin that held him on that cross. No, its not because of me...it's because of him. This love story is because He, being a magnificent King great in might and power humbled himself for me and became a man. Then laid his life down for me to show his love..to win my love! And boy did he! I love him with everything! I will lay my life down for him! I will give him my all! There is no price to great, no sacrifice too costly! This is true love! The real kind! And I get to be in it!

I was right...

I was right about the changes coming! I had an idea about one aspect but turns out God completely surprised me with this one! Can't really share at this moment but its exciting!


One thing I can say is I dont know if I will be going to the Philippines anymore regardless of whether I get accepted or not. At least not this year. I have felt God taking it away for a while now and I have been totally at peace about it. Yes I am sad because I really wanted to go but I know that God has my future in His hands and I trust Him with it. Its funny though because two people have told me they felt the same way...that I wouldn't actually be going. It is still not for sure that I won't! Maybe He is just asking me to surrender it. I don't know but I trust Him! And I am very very excited!!!! So stayed tuned for where He leads me next!!

Waves of Change...

I feel the waves of change coming. I am not quite sure what but I have an idea and while it isn't what I would have planned I know that it is God's hand at work here and that excites me no matter what the change will be! Bring it on!

What do you think Heaven will be like?

Recently I have been thinking about heaven... God is a creator and while this world is really cool and He did a GREAT job at making it, I am sure He can create so many other things! Things that don't even make sense to our human minds. Things that you can't use words to describe because none have ever been needed. I heard a thought from a creation teacher once that what if in heaven we can use our senses in completely different ways...like tasting the color orange or smelling things by touching them. And what about colors...I bet there are so many more colors! And creatures... Have you seen Planet Earth the deep sea one and the cave one?!?!! There are some CRAZY looking animals that we don't even know about on EARTH but what about in heaven!!! What will they be like! What will it sound like to have all of creation worshiping God. The Angels...what will they be like! There are a few descriptions of angels in the bible, I bet there are more! And the most exciting!!! What will it be like to see GOD!! I am getting giddy thinking about it! To be able to literally sit in his presence ALL the time. To see him. To hold Jesus' hand with the scars from the nails! I am so excited! Excited isn't even good enough! I am....skjdfhskdjghsukgyfkhgkuahgjkasghgrefgjhdfjg!!! Jesus is so worth it! If you are His disciple Earth is the closest thing to Hell we will ever experience. If you aren't Earth is the closest thing to Heaven you will ever experience! It is so worth it to die in this life to receive the new life from Jesus! Oh my goodness I am so ready to see my King!