Getting Antsy...

SO I have been reading a blog lately of a girl who is currently in the Philippines at the midwife school. She was actually the one who inspired me to start my own blog to help raise awareness and support and then to keep in touch with family when I am there. I found another girl who is there. So I have been reading all about what they are experiencing and I've been doing a lot of research lately which is just making my heart BURN to go! I wish I could go right now. There is such a huge need and I want to help. 10 months...if I get accepted. I can't even apply yet! I keep praying for patience. But if I am this passionate about it all now maybe God is making me wait to grow it even more!

New Home, Fleas, fevers, and Interns!!!

Wow! It has been a very eventful past couple of weeks! First off I got sick...but its a weird sickness and it just wont go away! It started with a headache then a fever and chills then dizziness. Some days are better than others but it just won't go away. So I think I will be going to the doctor some time this week. So that started 2 weeks ago. Then I went to the Call which was AMAZING!!! One thing that was really cool to see was how many people were there and thinking how every single one of them had been touched by God in so significant of way to make them come and pour out theirs hearts back to Him! It was awesome! The next day I moved into my new house! Very exciting! Until we found out the house in infested with FLEAS!!! Yuck! So we have been spraying and vacuuming. I think they are gone on the inside but our yard is still infested! The Best thing about where I live is that is it 2 houses away from the intern house! So I get to see them all the time! The first years started yesterday and they all left for their first team building intensive this morning! I am so excited to see how God works in their lives this year! So that's what has been going on lately!

The Call!!

So tonight is the first night of The Call! I am so excited! The Call is a prayer rally for the ending of abortion in our nation. Tonight is a worship night which is pretty cool! The only thing is I have been fighting with sickness all week. It started last week when I was housesitting for a friend. One morning I just woke up and had a really bad headache. About an hour later I felt really week and really cold! Even though it was really hot outside! Any thing I did made me exhausted even just getting up to go to the kitchen or bathroom. And my headache was so bad it was hard to move. The worst of it was the first 2 days but I have had a headache all week long while slowly getting rid of the other symptoms. Until today...Today I feel like the first day! I think it is totally an attack since the Call is today! Ugh, Hopefully it will go away when the Call is over!

Time to get excited!!!

I am moving this weekend!!! I can't wait! I was walking around Target yesterday and realized how many little things we simply don't have. We will manage just fine, but it was just a reality check for me to see how many things I use daily.

I am so excited to get things started. This summer felt like life on pause! So now I'm pushing the start button and the countdown begins till I hopefully go to the Philippines. First I guess I should count down until I can apply... I have been reading a blog by a girl who just left for the Philippines to go to the same school I want to go to. I love hearing her stories and seeing all the pictures of the beautiful women and babies! Thinking about it makes me so giddy!

Anyways, not much else to say...

Oh sharing my testimony went well! I was nervous until I got on stage and then I was fine!

Moving out soon!

So I have been preparing to move out into a community house all summer and it looks like it is finally happening! I am moving into a 4 bedroom house with my best friend, her sister, and another friend. We still want to find another person but I know God will provide. The best part about where we are living is that the house is houses away from the inter house so we can still be close to the interns! This is really important to me to continue to build relationships with the interns! So I am so excited to finally move out, YAY!

Another exciting thing is I am sharing my testimony this weekend! I didn't realize how nerve racking it would be to do this in front of the congregation, because I am not going to lie...I am pretty nervous. But I know that it will be good and God will be with me!

Anyways, I am going to the gym so I have to go...till next time!

My first Blog!

So I am completely new at this! i have always been hesitant to begin a blog but hopefully I will be going to the Philippines in a year and I know it would be helpful to share what is going on. So I guess I will begin by telling a little bit about me and my current mission.

I am 20 years old, live in the Sacramento are in California, and want to be a midwife. I just graduated from a two year internship at my church where my life was changed. God has wooed my heart from the beginning. He allowed me to move slow with him, understanding when I couldn't trust but gently nudging me to do so anyways. I have had to jump off a few figurative cliffs to see if He would catch me and He has...every single time. So I am hooked! Nothing can separate me from His love and that is the BEST thing anyone could ever have in this life. On this journey with God, He has revealed and grown the desires of my heart. Since I was 8 I have always been interested in becoming a health care worker for labor and delivery. At first I thought I wanted to be an obgyn. I did a program in high school that allowed me to rotate around the hospital to different areas and shadow under the nurses. When it was my week for Labor and delivery I was so excited! The first day I walked right into a birth where the baby was crowning! I was in awe and knew immediately that this was the field I wanted to be in. But after watching a couple of births I noticed that the doctors were more like baby catchers. They came in at the last minute and then left right after wards. I am very relational so I knew this wasn't for me. So I changed my path to become a nurse. I moved to California from Texas my junior year to live with my mom. A few months after moving my mom and I were watching a show about women having unassisted childbirths. I was shocked! At first in a bad way. I had never even heard of women having births at home, especially not by themselves. Everyone in my family or even just around me all went to the hospital!!! I had no idea home was even an option. So I began doing my research...and I was blown away! Natural births seem so much more normal, like this was the way God intended it to be. I did hours of research. Then i began watching videos of births on youtube. During the internship, this all continued. But at the same time God was showing me my destiny.

You see, another thing that has rocked my world since I was young was abortion. i have 3 younger siblings and 2 others that would be but died before they were born. One died during 8 months of pregnancy. I have seen fresh from the womb infants and their innocence and the life God gave them. And I have felt the excruciating pain of losing one. When I heard what abortion was, I was breathless. It broke my heart. I later found out that people very very close to me have had some and that tore me up even more. To know that I would have family here today kills me. On third of my generation is missing! WE have murdered more children in America than the Germans murdered in the Holocaust. Who would be here right now if it weren't for the legal mass murder of our children wasn't going on? This breaks my heart. I weep for the children who may not live. I weep for the parents with blood on their hands. I cry out that they will understand that Jesus' blood covers all sins and that the shame and guilt will be washed away. But I hope they never forget. Like my family hasn't because the blood of over 50 million babies cry out from the ground and they need a voice. They need someone to stand up for them so that their brothers and sisters won't be lost as well!

During the internship I realized that my passion for life and my passion for childbirth were connected. And God began to take me back to my roots...our roots. To the beginning of how he made our bodies to birth naturally. He quipped us with the tools to deliver healthy babies without the use of unneeded technology. I won't go on that trail just yet, I am sure I will have other blogs about it, but I do want to say that the use of modern medicine CAN be a life saver. But usually it is a hindrance. And God showed me the path He wants me to take. And that path is to be a midwife. I want to counteract the work of Satan by bringing life into the world. By being a midwife I will be taking a stand to his ways of deception regarding abortion and even childbirth. He is out to destroy families and I am out to help them. I will be a midwife to my generation those here and those who are lost. I will stand in the gap for those who can't speak up for themselves because Life does matter!

I especially want to help women in other nations who lose children because they dont have any help during childbirth. This is another way Satan is trying to kill families. I have always wanted to be a missionary and once I become a midwife I can take my skills to these women and spread the love of God to them while bringing life to them as well!

That's all I have to say for now...I know it's a lot but that's not even the half of it.