I can't think of what to call this...

So my check for my New Life Application was cashed yesterday! Yay! That means they got it! If I get accepted there's only 8 1/2 months left! I can't believe that I might be living in another country very far away for 3 years!!! It's very surreal to think about. Anyways, a girl who was at the school left. I read her blog and I don't know all the details of why she left but it has made me really pray about if this is really what God wants me to do. I have always felt it was but I just want to be for sure for sure! Because I don't want my own fleshly passion to be what I bank on! That won;t get me very far. I need Jesus and His direction to do anything! I can already see my passion dwindling. It may not seem like it on the outside because on a scale I am still very passionate about birth but not quite as crazy as I was even a few weeks ago. And I don't think it is a bad thing. I am learning to pursue God with my passion not pursue my passion dragging God a long. And when I am focusing on Him, birth isn't as cool. Next to Jesus, everything loses its luster.

I just got done reading the new Foxes book of Martyrs and boy was it intense! I never realized how much persecution Christians have always faced. It was really awesome to hear the stories of people who were so Sold out for God they gave their lives. I want to do the same. I want to give Jesus my everything. I want to be loving Him till my last breath and then for eternity after-wards. I decided to alternate between reading my birth books and christian books so that I dont get so side tracked with all the baby talk. Now I am reading a midwife ethics book which so far is pretty boring. I want to scrap it all together but I know it is important to read. Plus I am sure I will have to read some pretty boring books in my future for school so I might as well get used to it now. Being a midwife isn't always just about the oo's and aw's of delivering. There are some not-so-fun aspects to it as well!

Well that's all for now, i should be getting a blog makeover soon! Im so excited!